We have updated our Privacy Policy. By using this website, you consent to our Terms and Conditions.

XClose

Special Topics

Body Shaming: What Is It & Why Do We Do It?

Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer tips about how to lose weight “in days,” appear slimmer “instantly,” and hide our “imperfections”… without actually knowing anything about us, much less our appearance.

Push “ED” Aside & Give Thanks

With Thanksgiving being this week, I wanted to remind you of the reasons we celebrate the holiday because Ed can try to convince us otherwise. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for who we have in our life and how much our life is filled with love and gratitude for ourselves and others. Spending time with family and making memories is what it’s all about.

Hold Ice

My stress level was high at the office and I was on edge. Dur­ing this time, Ed was loud and I was having difficulty getting him to shut up, so I was more frustrated, anxious and vulnerable than usual. One evening, Rachel and I got into a fight over something stupid and we ended up parting ways, one upstairs and one downstairs. I was angry and hurt, and Ed took that opening and ran with it.

Patience

While in recovery, “Are you better yet?” was a feeling, a wish, an expectation that emanated from the people who loved me. They knew I had gone into treatment and they saw me eat­ing, so they figured I was totally cured. However, as we know, an eating disorder is not only about the food, and recovery is not just about eating.

Meal Planning

The thought of food brought me so much anxiety and fear that I was often paralyzed around choosing and preparing my meals. Somehow I needed to accept and get comfortable with seeing, touching, smelling, preparing, and tasting it. Figuring out what to eat for each meal and snack was a particularly hard struggle because Ed would always chime right in. It was a challenge to stay focused because his voice was so loud!

Swallow Up

One of my biggest challenges was that after each meal, my mind would go into overdrive and refuse to let go of my bad body image. With every bite that went into my mouth, I imagined the food forcing its way through my body, which was being morphed into a disfigured mess. It was mentally and emotionally painful.

A Snap On The Wrist

Often, during my days in recovery, I would be plagued by thoughts that would drive me towards one negative behavior after another. Ed wanted me back and he was not happy that I was committed to recovery and listening to my treatment team. I felt like there was a constant, exhausting battle going on in my head.

Complications From Diabulimia

For the last 19 years I have spent every hour of everyday thinking about the same thing. The first thought when I wake up in the morning is the same as my last thought when I go to bed at night. “What's my blood sugar?” I have spent years of my life waking up every day trying to take control of a disease that is relentless; you never get a day off from type 1 diabetes.

Diabulimia: It’s Never Too Late To Get Help

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was five years old. I grew up with this all-encompassing chronic illness and I barely remember my life before the click of the lancet, the beeps from my glucometer, and the hypoglycemic episodes that still, after 23 years of living with this disease, scare me.