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Renaming A Fear

I remember exactly when and where it happened: a Saturday around 11:00 am and I was on Erin’s massage table. One minute I was relaxed, and the next minute fear and anxiety poured through my body as I experienced something that had not happened in a long while. It was hunger.

Affirmations

During recovery, there are many moments when an extra lift of encouragement or positive thought is needed. Reaching out to supports is great, but sometimes they are unavailable. In order to keep myself on track and in the right frame of mind, I decided to carry with me words of encouragement so I could pull them out anytime I needed.

Aly Raisman’s 3 Things I’m Thankful for That Have Nothing To Do With My Body

The fall season is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the weather and fall clothes, and Thanksgiving is always a great holiday to celebrate with family and friends. Since Walden is like family to me, I’d like to share three things that I am thankful for this November that have nothing to do with my body. I think it is important to have these types of positive influences in your life so that you can always keep your outlook on your life moving forward.

Music

Music is one of my favorite companions. I’ve usually got my music handy on my computer, ipod, car radio, home stereo, or cell phone so I can listen to a song in an instant. If I can’t get to any of these, I can often be found humming or singing! Music gives me so many things: encouragement, support, feelings of joy and release. It helps me through difficult times by connecting me to an inner source of strength. It both relaxes and motivates me.

Evening Treatment

Evening treatment took place from 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm three nights a week—Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Even as I walked towards the building after work on that first cold night, Ed was begging, “Cheryl, why are you doing this? We don’t see each other that often. What’s the problem?”

Trust

Around this time, Ed was in my face more than usual, and I found myself listening to him here and there. My behaviors did not go unnoticed: Rachel and my treatment team were tuned in to what was happening and were there to support and offer advice.

Talking to Ed

During my recovery, I attended a workshop by therapist and author, Thom Rutledge.   After the workshop, I contact Thom to see if he would do phone consultations with me, and he gladly agreed. Our first session took place on a 90-degree day in July. As I dialed the number, my belly was doing its usual flips. How is this going to go? Will I get anything out of it? Then the phone began to ring, and I heard, “Hello, this is Thom.” My voice quivered a bit as I said, “Hi, Thom. It’s Cheryl Kerrigan.” And the conversation began.

Quieting the Body-Shaming Demon: A Challenge for Readers

In September, I went to a two-day conference on Eating Disorders & Disordered Eating in Meredith, NH.  I had the pleasure of sitting in on an incredibly empowering presentation about one woman’s approach to preventing eating disorders, specifically in schools.

Stop and Smell the Flowers

Every Monday at my office we get a flower delivery for the front entry way.  Every day I pass by those flowers without a single thought.  This day was different.  I actually noticed the flowers, could appreciate their beauty and stopped to actually smell them.  While I sniffed in their aroma, thoughts of beauty and appreciation filled my head.  Positive feelings came about as the beautiful smell triggered nice thoughts and a warm feeling inside.  By their smell, it just made me feel better inside.