During this past weekend I went shopping. I went to the Mall and various stores around my house to run errands and to buy myself a few things…….I succeed. I don’t take these actions for granted as I owe this act of buying myself things, without guilt, to my recovery.
When I was with Ed, I hardly ventured out anywhere, especially clothes shopping but even still I didn’t feel worthy enough to spend money on myself. I felt guilty and felt I didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t until I began following recovery, disobey Ed and started to gain my health back that I realized I am worthy and I do deserve nice things….just like you do.
Now that I am recovered today is different. Now, if I see something I like, I buy it all without guilt. I work hard and take care of myself and part of taking care of myself is to treat myself to nice, new things. I am a good person and I deserve it……and so don’t you!
So, I challenge you this week and beyond to take a risk and go out shopping and buy yourself something (in addition to eating your meal plan….that goes without saying). Take a risk and disobey Ed and go shopping. Go buy yourself something like candles, soaps, perfumes, a shirt, a new journal, shoes, earrings, a new purse, a scarf etc. Use friend/family support, positive self-talk, journaling, talking back to Ed and affirmations to help you. You deserve it and are worth it. Push Ed aside and go out and do for yourself. What will you get yourself?
With health, hope and strength,