I was with some friends and their kids this weekend and we were cooking and making various types of food. I love being with friends and seeing their recipes. When the cooking was done we all sat down to eat, including my friends toddler. My friend sat her daughter in her high chair and we all began to eat all the food that we cooked. Her little daughter was taking bite after bite and saying “yummy”, “more”, “good”! She was enjoying every bite of food that went in her mouth. Everyone was so free and having a special time and enjoying wonderful, delicious food and making special memories.
When I witnessed and experienced this, it made me reflect on how everyone should eat and enjoy food like my friends daughter (and us) was doing…without judgment and pure enjoyment. She was eating what she liked and was so happy doing so and she was making memories with her mom. When you are with Ed, scenes like that are rare as he takes all the joy out of eating and enjoying food. He robs you of everything and puts judgment on everything you do. It saddens me to think of how Ed is and the lies he tells.
Well, I am here to tell you that you CAN have that scene of food, freedom and fun. You too can enjoy all food without judgment and make new memories with family and friends. Following recovery and disobeying Ed will give you the freedom and will allow you to love food. I never thought that I would ever love food and be able to eat it without guilt or judgment or pain, but now that Ed is no longer in the picture, I do love food and have the freedom around it and you can too. I promise.
So, even though it is painful, follow your meal plan and disobey Ed. Use tools like journaling, holding ice, calling supports, arts and crafts, music, goals list, tangible objects and much more to help you. Take risks and eat fear foods…I give you permission. Remember whatever Ed says is a Lie. He speaks no truth. Recovery speaks truth and can set you free. Food is your friend and not your enemy.
With health, hope and strength,