I came across an old blog the other day in my file and thought I would share it with you in its entirety. It is a great reminder that fear can be conquered no matter how scary it is and when you conquer it, the experience and feelings that come from pushing through it are amazing. We are all faced with fear and anxiety and it presents itself in many forms but know the fear doesn’t have to consume you or have control. Look fear in the face and forge ahead. You are strong enough!!
Last week I was eating dinner and a quarter of my back tooth broke. I could feel the shards of teeth against my tongue as panic set in. I couldn’t believe my tooth just broke. My first thought was “With all that I have going on, I don’t need this right now”. Nonetheless I made an appointment with my dentist to get it checked out. I was hoping for the best.
I went to the dentist a few days later and received some unsettling and scary news (to me it was). I was told my tooth was broken so far down to my bone and it has decay at the root (from my eating disorder….ugh) that there is no way to save this tooth. I would have to get it pulled and then get an implant. My dentist said the tooth had to come out ASAP. I began to cry right there in the dentist chair. I was sobbing as complete fear and panic set in. The dentist is a huge fear of mine and the thought of getting a tooth pulled and a screw put in my jaw was not making me happy. Plus the thousands of dollars it was cost was getting me anxious. It took me awhile to calm down.
As the day(s) passed my fear and anxiety grew as the thought of the oral surgeon was in my mind. As I sat with the fear a thought came over me. When I was on the recovery path, I was faced with one fear after another. Fear of trust, fear of change, fear of food, fear of being alone, fear of not having Ed , fear of being normal and so on. Despite all those fears, I was able to overcome them all to find the freedom that I live with today. (which you can have too)
So I decided to take my fear that is inside and work with it. I am journaling about my anxiety and fear, I am deep breathing and meditating to help calm me, I am using supports to help sustain me, I am saying positive affirmations and doing positive self talk all to help me work through the fear and overcome it. I got through the fear of leaving Ed and I can get through the fear of what’s to come with the dentist.
So tomorrow I will lie in that dentist chair, breath deep, meditate, do some positive self talk (all with my eyes closed) and hold my affirmation stone as they extract the broken tooth. After the extraction, my fear and problem tooth will be gone and conquered……and that is a positive.
So, know that whatever fear you are faced with in your recovery or life, you have the strength and ability to get through it. Continue to push forward, use your recovery tools (like I mentioned above) for with each fear you conquer and overcome, freedom will be yours. I promise!
With health, hope and strength,