I recently had an appointment at my hairdresser’s. As I sat in her chair, I thought to myself, maybe I should get a different hair color and spice it up. My thoughts were a bit fearful as I didn’t know what I wanted and would have to trust my hairdresser fully. Would I be able to trust her to give me a color that would compliment my skin tone? Would I be able to trust her to know what was best for me? Would I be able to trust her not to make me look funny when I was done? All these thoughts went through my mind. Even though I had fear inside, I was excited for what could be.
This situation and the feelings around it are similar to recovery. While in my recovery, I had to learn to trust my treatment team and learn to trust myself and NOT to trust Ed. I had to put my faith in them to know what was best for me. This was difficult and I questioned it daily but I was also excited to see what would happen if I did. Would I really recover if I listened to them? Would I really be able to leave Ed?
In the end, I decided to trust my treatment team for their knowledge and experience because I knew they would help me succeed in my recovery. I listened to their advice, made a plan and followed it. Over time I also began to trust myself and I knew that trusting Ed was no longer going to be part of my existence. It couldn’t be if I wanted to live free. I knew I needed to trust my supports, not Ed. I had to remember that Ed ALWAYS lies and is manipulative and Ed is NOT trustworthy at all. I did remember that and trusted my team and myself and in the end Ed has been silenced and freedom has been reached. Recovery is amazing.
So as I sat in the chair, I reminisced about my recovery path and trust and decided that trusting someone who is knowledgeable and can help may be scary but it is something I can do and something I have done. So I trusted my hairdresser to color my hair and it came out great.
In your recovery, face the unknown and the fear and trust your treatment team and supports and DON’T TRUST ED. As time goes on you will learn to trust yourself and your body as it will give you a sense of freedom. Your wings will spread and you will fly. I Promise!
With health, hope and strength,