I was at a birthday party recently for a friend of mine. At the party, her mother got up to say a few words. She gave a wonderful speech about her daughter’s strong morals and values, hardworking nature, kind heart and about how proud of her she was. She said all these wonderful things that were all truly deserving. As I was driving home, I was thinking of this speech and it made me think about how people view me now versus when I was with my eating disorder (ED).
When I was partnered with Ed, people would worry about me and wish I was better. They were frustrated, at a loss for words, scared and fearful, yet they loved me at the same time. Now that I am recovered and not with Ed, people have plenty to say and they are no longer fearful or scared.
I am told that I am strong, that they are proud of me, that I am in inspiration, that I am driven and that I am a survivor. All things that are deserving–because of recovery. People are able to see, feel, and experience the “real” me. Before recovery the real me wasn’t around, just my shell was. Ed didn’t allow me to come out or connect. Not now…now I connect with others, feel, and experience life. I love to hear what people have to say about me—good or otherwise—because I know it’s about the “real” me.
Break out of your shell and let others view the real you…without Ed being involved. It is liberating and amazing. Voice your opinion, ask for what you need, have fun, tell Ed no, and disobey him. Do your tools…arts and crafts, journaling, crying, emailing/calling supports, yoga, therapy etc. Take one bite at a time and know with each step you are closer to feeling and experiencing the real you. I know it is difficult at times, but you can do it.
“You” matter and are worth showing everyone who you really are and what you have to give. You are strong and can do this….believe!
What is one step you will take to break out of your ED shell and reveal your true self?
With heath, hope and strength,