(a chapter from Telling Ed No! by Cheryl Kerrigan©)


My support team was persistent, though. So with their help I finally decided to add something into my week that was just for me. I booked a facial and told Ed that I was going to pamper myself and he wasn’t invited. As expected, taking time out and spending money on me was uncomfortable and new, but I didn’t let that stop me.

At the spa, the attendants doted over me, and I enjoyed all of the positive attention. Lying on that table, I took a moment to reflect and do some deep breathing to become more present and appreciative. As warm water was brushed on my face and the cleansing began, I imagined that it was being done not just to my face, but that Ed was being washed away, too.

To deal with my guilt afterwards, I wrote in my journal using encouraging, positive language. And when the remorse had subsided, my soul was singing with feelings of power, serenity, freedom, and pride. I had done something just for me, and it felt great.

Some of the ways I have continued to take care of myself are by having: facials, manicures, pedicures, scalp massages, full body massages, bubble baths with candles and music, quiet time in the morning with my journal, yoga sessions, and much more. I have become the Queen of Self-Care! I recognize that doing nourishing things for myself on a regular basis is healthy and empowering. The realization that I deserve to treat myself took awhile, but now I’m making up for lost time!  I am worth it!


Does Ed stop you from taking time and being nice to yourself? If he does, take a stand! Make an appointment for yourself for a facial, manicure, massage, or something similar.  Before and after the appointment, write in your journal or talk with someone about your feelings, asserting that you deserve it. If you have trouble making the appointment, have a support person call for you. What self-care will you do? Enjoy!


With health, hope and strength,